How to handle anger in office with co-employees
Is it your own anger - or anger being directed at you?
If it is your own, the first step is to recognize you are angry and then - ask yourself some questions. Why are you angry? Are you really just scared and responding in anger as a defense mechanism. If you are scared? What are you scared about? How might you articulate that in a way that helps others help you instead of making the problem worse by creating a fight on top of the problem - instead of just - solving the problem.
If it is being directed at you - I recommend - compassionate non-compliance. I actually have an online course on this - how to de-escalate conflicts using behavioral science - or if it is customer service related - how to deal with cranky customers using behavioral science.
But the basis of this is - how you respond. If someone is angry with you and you do what they want - you reward their being angry with you. They learn - being angry works to get what I want. That is not what you want them to learn.
Being angry back - also doesn't work. Negative reinforcement is still reinforcement. What they learn from you being angry back is that their anger at you was totally justified. This also - will not fix the problem.
What does work is acknowledging their concerns in a compassionate way - but not solving the problem until they calm down and treat you with dignity. And you do this by calmly redirecting them into cooperative problem solving. Say something along the lines of - I understand you are upset - let's discuss how to fix this. And you keep saying that - until they start talking about - how to fix it. Expressing anger - isn't problem solving. And until they enter - problem solving mode - any response you give - will just reinforce their anger. So model - calm problem solving and encourage them to join you in the calm problem solving space. It may take them a while to calm down - but most people will eventually join you in the calm problem solving space and appreciate you for helping them get there.
If it is a manager and they don't know how to manage so they just bully people - you may not be able to fix it. But the above - encourage them to engage in calm collaborative problem solving - will give you the best chance of success.
Many thanks for your advise and suggestions!!
Anger is nothing but short madness as at that particular moment logic becomes non-existent. One must pause for a moment take couple of deep breaths, do reverse count up to 10. This diverts your mind and the deep breath helps in pumping fresh oxygen which helps in stimulating the positive ingredients in your biological system. The fits of anger will wane away in the meantime. Cool yourself and remain calm.
Hi Harika, Anger is a hard emotion need acknowledgement and control. It simply exists without being right or worry. Every human being gets angry sometimes. It is the indication of uncertain behavior - some over react to a situation and other suffer the injustice in silence. Please find attached HANDLING ANGER – A SKILL. Doc
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There are so many ways to handle he office anger. First of all try to understand the nature and area of anger. It can be handle through employee relation.