“Control your temper and stop crying". Do you remember the nagging scolding from your disturbed parent when you were young? Well, this runs true even in the workplace. You need to control the upsurge of red hot anger and bellowing of your throat in retaliation to someone’s action or comment. Can you control a temper surge? Is this possible? It maybe, but the bottom line is- “You were angry, very very angry”, you need to recognize the symptoms instantly and do something about it definitely!
Where did this anger come from? Anger is a natural antagonistic reaction when you are upset at someone who doesn’t heed your orders, does you wrong or tries to harm you. But uncontrolled and unbridled temper is an ugly emotion that spells doom and you need to leash it and keep it tapered if it has a tendency to spiral out of control. Get ready to understand temper first before we crack ways to deal with it.
How do we exhibit our tempestuous outbursts and why do we get angry?
1) Whenever you show a reaction to a situation don’t forget that there are hundreds of eyes staring at you constantly. Boss in the office often forgets that his employees and subordinates are looking at him constantly and carefully studying his reactions. Facial contortions in random uncountable temper filled moments each day in the workplace. Unfulfilled commitments, incomplete production, messed up products, skipped appointments; unmanageable situations are all a source of great frustration for the head of the company. But does this justify uncontrollable temper tantrums in a workplace?
2) Anger is unpredictable and starts quickly by making your face burn and go red. The neck pressure increases and the muscles start clenching.
3) The distorted face and shrilling screams made in a tempestuous moment by a company head, leaves a permanent imprint on the mind of the co-workers. The image of the caregiver’s expression of anger sticks to the mind and soon the loyalty and patience of the subordinates start to wear off. Do not let anger alter your inter-personal office relations. Your reaction in a stressful situation guides their future emotions and you need to be very careful when exhibiting anger or else they can make permanent “aggressive” wounds on the psyche of your team mates.
4) Employers teach their employees anger and when they physically or mentally abuse the employed staff in an expression of temper. This is bad, very very abhorrent actually! Abusing, throwing things around is despicable attitude and should not be a part of the day of any office mate. Nasty workplace experiences can leave a sense of disloyalty in the minds of the employees. These experiences make them wary and touchy and they tend to lose their cool frequently.
5) Being passed over and losing an important position in the workplace and watching another person being promoted is one of the most frustrating things for an employee. Offices often experience an atmosphere of resentment and jealousy because of unrequited or direct professional sparring. Workplace anger hampers personal health, inter-personal relations and smooth working of the organisation.
6) In anger, stress hormones start gushing through the body, brain shuts down its rational working and sensibility is overruled. Do you want to fall a prey to illnesses like depression, chronic anxiety attacks, heart complications and blood pressure or do you want to deal with the anger issues constructively and end up as a promotable member of the workplace?
7) Frequent criticism and inability to perform a certain task handed over by the employer can lead to frustration. The worker feels irritated because he or she is unable to match up to the demanding expectations of the employer.
8) Sometimes the worker is more talented and educated than the employer and feels more capable of taking decisions than the owner.
9) Outside sources like a stressful personal life, broken relationships, financial crisis, death, divorce can leave the employee helpless and angry. Buried emotions often end up as a temper outburst!
Nobody has the patience to deal with irrelevant and unrealistic demands and if they are doing so it is because they have no other option- after all you hold the strings to their job. You need to earn loyalty and not hatred, you need dedication and not revulsion, you need friends in your workplace and not enemies who are just waiting to take a dig at you! So let’s work on this and get a grab on our erratic emotions.
How can we control our erratic temper?
1) Remember you were asked to count till 10 before reacting in anger. Let’s do it again, this time in the office. Stop, count and let the hormonal uprush calm down before you open your mouth. You can do it, make it as an exercise. Stop now, and count till 10. You need to do it for yourself and this works.
2) Keep practicing “Control” in your general environment. Control the urge to make a comment when you long to do so. Let the moment pass and don’t say anything. Practice makes a man perfect, so keep working on this small easy technique. This exercise will work as an example when you need to stay silent in stormy office situations.
3) Nothing lasts forever and a messed up situation has already been created in the workplace. The “accident” will have each one of the workers stressed and upset, so do you need to add fuel to the fire by throwing things around? It’s time to act and find a solution not yell around, so let the “angry” moment pass.
4) You can understand the moment you start to see red. That’s the time to hang on to something- a pencil, a key chain, a remote and observe it carefully. Start to see the various colors on it or its shape and block out the source of anger by distracting your attention. Then turn around and walk out, deal with each second at a time. Don’t let that nasty temper clamber over your senses, don’t let it dominate you- you dominate it instead.
5) Treat the temper surge like a match. You have been bowled a ball and may be knocked out if you don’t react sensibly. A defensive strategy to save yourself from the ball will work the best. Focus and concentrate, you are not going to let that rowdy temper win, are you?
6) Anger is scary and makes a person feel uncomfortable, but it’s a moment and will heal soon. Don’t suppress it forcefully by bottling it up. People who bottle anger may suffer from physical illness or self-harming behaviors if it is not rationalized in time. Your emotions are communicating with you naturally but you need to understand the silent language and be in control physically. Distraction is the key to control.
7) It is important to deal with a temper tantrum constructively and not aggressively. This will help in getting a promotion and improve your state of mind. Breathe deeply and keep repeating that you have to stay calm. This is an exercise that you have to do every time you feel the rage build up inside of you.
8) Steps to Control Anger Constructively have to be taken and they are super important but feelings should never be suppressed. You need to take a second and give your erratic action a thought. Distract your mind by some physical activity like exercising or walking down the stairs. Just distract that aggressive thought away and manage your temper. You have to keep reminding yourself; if you can’t resolve a situation with your temper tantrum then it’s better to let the things go.
9) Taking the assistance of a therapist will help you get rid of bitterness and rage small exercises that these skilled professionals prescribe can help you turn into an effective leader and a valued employee.
10) The moment you feel the temper start, close your eyes and loosen the tightened muscles.
11) Listening to calming music also helps cool the temper down.
12) Get rid of office paraphernalia when your each home, make it a practice to get out of the office garb on reaching your personal haven.
13) You can introduce meditation and positive self-talk into your daily life style because these have a calming influence on the general disposition of a human being.
A calm man is noticed by all, his speech and friendly nature will be admired, so get ready to be that courteous but firm man in your office space. You can do it, getting rid of temper is possible, just accept that you need to change your present uncontrollable “temper attitude”.